soberjourney's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Still Alive I know it's been forever. It's been a struggle all by myself. I am doing the best I can one day at a time. I am home now and it's so much easier there with a support system and when my little brain isn't working overtime. So I am still here, still trying, still pugging away. I feel so much better when I'm sober. Much better! 7:33 p.m. - 2007-09-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doing OK I know it's been a while, but after the slip things have been pretty good. It's been crazy around here, but I'm going to a lot of meetings and thinking about a lot of stuff. I remembered how I used to lie and be deceitful and hide things - hide conversations and email threads- hide booze - all kinds of stuff. It was like I was ashamed of ME. I also noticed that when I had my slip I sent an email out and the tone was gushing and reading it now it was definitely right back into my old habits. I thank the Lord for each day that I have sober, thinking straight and being honest. May there be many more, starting tomorrow. 12:27 a.m. - 2007-08-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Slip I am still here! I'm going through changes, and I had a slip up this week. I was stupid and thought I could handle it on my own, and I can't. This is a disease, and I'm living proof. I went to two meetings this week, and going to a third when traveling. I'm praying a lot too. I'm praying for me, for us, and for you. 9:45 p.m. - 2007-07-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Been Out Sorry I've been away. I've been traveling, and that's been hard. Because with free time and no support system I'm my own worst enemy. Especially with no rental car to go anywhere for a meeting. Someone at a meeting suggested that I call and people would come get me. That, I may do. I need to do this. If I go back to my old ways, everything is lost. I don't want to lose anything. 2:57 p.m. - 2007-06-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Can Do It With everything that's going on, everything that's going to happen, I'm going to stay sober. I'm going to be spending some time in my least favorite places...airports. And of course with airports, boredom and ennui mean trouble. But, I can do it. For me. 10:49 p.m. - 2007-06-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Still Going Strong Things are going pretty well. Had what may be my last therapy appointment with this therapist this week. It all depends on if I move or not. She was happy with my progress. So is mate. Though it's one day at a time. I do wonder. I'm may be traveling a lot in the future, and THAT is when the test will be. I'll need to find meetings no matter where I am. 6:51 p.m. - 2007-06-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another Good Week Things are going well here. I haven't wanted even one beer or glass of wine, and I seem to be getting better at not clinging onto people inappropriately and concentrating on what I have here. But it's one day at a time, and that's my mantra. I thank God for helping me thus far, and ask him for his guidance and wisdom going forward. 1:35 p.m. - 2007-06-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One Day At A Time Good weekend! Even though I was at a cookout with friends with alcohol around, there was no temptation for me to drink. Mate and I are trying to keep an even keel about everything, and it's a struggle, but I just keep reminding everyone that it's one day at a time. It truly is - when you boil it down to that life somehow gets easier. 10:27 a.m. - 2007-05-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bad Week - But I Can Manage Boy, it's been a tough few days. A few challenges came my way, but I think I can get through them. I have the skills to get through them. I have the backing, too. I am staying sober as well. That's not going to be an answer to the problem, when it created most of the problem in the first place. I'm finding I can solve this problem with God's help along with others. 9:13 p.m. - 2007-05-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Can't Be Normal. You know, I had a great week and had a good meeting yesterday. But you know what sucks is that I can't be 'normal' anymore. I have to take things one day at a time, and be careful and sober. If I take one drink, I'll start drinking every day again. I don't want that. I'll be right back to where I was, or even worse. I need to learn boundaries and proper controls. One day at a time. 8:25 p.m. - 2007-05-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||